Sunday, June 17, 2012

Father's Day Tribute

I know this is a fashion blog, but I wouldn't feel right if I didn't do this today.  I lost my father almost two years ago to colon cancer.  It was something very unexpected and the most difficult thing that I have ever had to go through.  After his diagnosis, he fought as hard as he could to beat it for 3 months but the cancer had already spread to his liver and it was too late.  The most difficult thing was to watch him suffer and know that there was nothing I could do to make it all go away.  All I could do was be there every step of the way to show him support and love.  When he started to lose his hair during chemotherapy I cut my hair off because that was the kind of support I wanted to give him. I held his hand all the way through his battle, even till his last breath.  Right before he passed away, he smiled.  He smiled twice.  I find comfort in that memory because I knew in that moment he was no longer suffering and really was going to a better place.

My father was a principle and he truly inspired so many people, especially me.  He continues to inspire me every single day and gives me the strength that I need to live my life without him.  He is the reason I got the word "Inspire" tattooed on my wrist.  It's a daily reminder to me that I need to try and inspire others the way that he did.  That's the kind of legacy that I want to leave behind.  You can be told you're beautiful a thousand times, but for one person to call you an inspiration is the most amazing compliment you could receive.  And I mean it wholeheartedly when I say that my goal with this fashion blog is to inspire.

My dad never got to see this side of me, but he did get the chance to listen to all the music I recorded and he was my biggest fan and supporter.  Even during his treatments, he would tell the nurses and other patients that I was a singer and gave them my website so they could go home and listen to my music. Even during his battle, he still put me first.  That's the kind of man he was and I was truly blessed to have had him as my father.  I'm so grateful for all the big moments in my life that he got to be apart of, but it fills my heart with sadness when I think of all the big moments that are still to come that he won't be here for.  I wish he could see this blog and all of the opportunities that have come from this.  But I know he is watching over me and shining down his love and guidance.  I truly believe that he is my guardian angel.

My sister and I did this photo shoot as a Fathers Day present to my dad when he was sick in 2010.  It was the last Fathers Day that we were able to spend with him.  This photo was meant to give him strength in his weakest moment.  

My father in high school.

When I was little.. 

Before he got sick.

2 weeks before his diagnosis

During his treatment, when I cut my hair

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years."

Happy Father's Day to my beautiful & amazing guardian angel.  Words don't express how much I miss you.  You are my driving force.  I love you!


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